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Joke of the Day

"I wish i could Google anything. I'd type: ""where da fuck iz my phone?"" and it'd be like: ""in da fridge dumbass."""

"How did the chicken cross the freeway? Take the ""F"" out of ""Free"" and the ""F"" out of ""Way""."

"Just got real sweaty because I started thinking about a babe in an ankle-length all denim overall dress"

"Billy and his dad. Billy's dad walks into his room and says ""Billy, if you don't stop masturbating you're going to go blind."" To which Billy replies, ""Hey Dad, I'm over here!"""

"You probably know the last word of this sentence"

"""and this blood shall be called A+"" all the other blood types: ""k wow we're like right here"""

"Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"What color is ice? Hielo."

"Don't you hate when someone without kids tells you how to parent? I think I know how much alcohol my kids can handle."

"I have exponential spelling but terrible malapropism"