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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want everyone.. ..... come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back and not say a word, so everyone will think I lived a cool double life."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta... F*ck you guys this is funny to me."

"What difference does an ""A"" make? Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical."

"911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry."

"There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel."

"A patatoe is walking down a hallway When suddenly he Stubbs his toe and screams ""OUCH I stubbed my potaTOES"""

"I feel sorry for the wasted sperm Some of them turn out stupid, run for President and win."

"Love is grand Divorce is a HUNDRED grand..."

"I hate people who have a great timing with jokes. When I do it I get responses like ""Who are you and why are you at my grandma's funeral?"""

"""Thanks, you've been a wonderful host!"" - Viruses"