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Joke of the Day

"I fought in Vietnam I went there last year and some kid took my Cheetos so I hit him."

"There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it."

"Did you know our brains are 75% fat? Thinking about putting mine on a diet."

"Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer? It had freed up one GB of space."

"How many bears could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears? Seven."

"GF just thought of the best name for a drink. The Vadge Liqueur. (Should I be concerned? This was totally random)"

"Everyone keeps telling me that I'm condescending. It means I talk down to people."

"""Was that lightning?"" No... they're taking pictures for google earth."

"I just checked to see if I had any post, and on the floor in front of the letterbox is an envelope that says ""Do not bend""... How am I supposed to pick it up?"

"Why Beyonce? Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..."