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Joke of the Day

"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."

"How do you call a dog with no legs? It does not matter it will not come"

"I never understood what liking large asses had to do with being fallacious, but who am I to question the genius of a knighted rapper."

"I made a movie about premature ejaculation. But it came out too soon."

"My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything."

"I'm going to stop eating beef from Colorado The steaks are too high"

"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is basically like picking up a hitchhiker. You're probs gonna die."

"Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis? It wooden go."

"What do you call a lazy Italian at the gym? ...Mussolini"

"If you are getting a prostate exam... You're getting ANALysed!!!"