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Joke of the Day

"I want someone to push me up against the wall.. lean in.. and softly whisper... ""I'll do your housework for you"""

"I don't always have sex with star trek fans... but when I do, I prefer dos trekkies."

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio? Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy."

"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."

"I think it might be a good idea to not buy gold right now. Is a statement that is bound to get gilded."

"I think my favorite MLK Day tradition is giving pans of ex-lax laced brownies to all the local racist organizations."

"A buddy had a lawn mower accident and died after getting the ends of his feet cut off. Doctors diagnosed him as lack-toes intolerant"

"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."

"Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president. We need Batman now more than ever"

"Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses. Fortunately, my wife had the solution."