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Joke of the Day

"I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release It was destiny"

"There's been a toothpaste scandal. The press have called it Col-Gate."

"What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments? Sinko de Mayo"

"Some people should be recalled."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"

"How to Keep an Idiot in Suspense - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... I'll tell you later."

"Asked my parents if I was adopted... They laughed and said ""Of course not, why would we have chosen you?"""

"Q: What did the tree say to the mountain? A: Stop peaking at me."

"Why are men so smart while having sex? Because they are plugged into a fucking know-it-all."