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Joke of the Day

"Did you know... That 80% of all stats are made up?"

"I always wanted to try juggling... I just never had the balls to."

"My dad is a magician. He even has a trick that makes him turn invisible. He's been doing it for the last 32 years."

"I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him"

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes you just need a really big fishing rod."

"What does Wolverine and Caitlin Jenner have in common? They're both X-Men."

"[undoes GFs bra first time] ""wow have you been practicing?"" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances]"

"Danny DeVito... Danny DeVito is 70 years old, but he's had a short life."

"Herpes sounds like the name of a greek god"

"People ask me why I don't cuss... ...I tell them it's none of their fuckin' bitch-ass business to know why."