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Joke of the Day

"The Best Sean Connery Joke In EXISTENCE! (Read in Mr. Connery's voice) Ash I wash walking through my houshe, a book fell on me. I had only myshelf to blame."

"An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!"

"I like my ex's like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer"

"A COWORKER BROUGHT HER INFANT INTO THE OFFICE LET'S ALL CROWD AROUND AND TERRIFY IT. -women"

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from a duck"

"Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle? They like horsin' around."

"The heart is a barefoot child that keeps running in and out of traffic."

"How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? None. Punks never changed anything."

"Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11? They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains."

"How can you spot the rank of a Russian? By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit."