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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung."
Next Joke
"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive."
"My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday. So we sat outside McDonald's."
"What do you call when Batman leaves the church early? Christian Bale"
"Ever notice how unaware people are of the world around them? No?"
"How do you plug a plow into a car stereo? Through the ox input."
"I caught someone stalking me so I stalked them right back. It got awkward sitting in the same tree staring at each other."
"Whoever called it rush hour should not be allowed to name anything else."
"*Brings axe to slumber party* ""Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'"" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*"
"An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul."""