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Joke of the Day

"My pharmacist thinks I'm a pedophile. He keeps putting labels on my pills telling me to keep away from children."

"Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean."

"The second worst thing to say on a date... ...is that you have to fart. The worst thing to say is, ""That wasn't a fart."""

"I just flushed a stink bug down the toilet along with the dump. Who's the stink bug now, Bitch?"

"Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ? Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !"

"*puts hand on your knee *slowly moves up your thigh *runs over your hip *drags finger up your stomach *grabs remote *changes channel"

"The worst number in the world. 6.9 it's 69 interrupted by a period"

"If a woman gave in very fast it's not because of the man but the men that came before him."

"""Bless your heart"" is southern for ""I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."""

"I might have Alzheimer's... But at least I don't have Alzheimer's."