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Joke of the Day

"The average American male... has a 5"" penis but says it's 7"". Anyways, close enough....or a perfect 5/7 story?"

"If someone holds eye contact with you for longer than 3 seconds, make sure you urinate to establish dominance"

"Excuse me, do you really need glasses... or are they just for looks?"

"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it."

"Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger? Or Mr. Bigger's baby? The baby, because it is a little Bigger."

"Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016 Sure showed them"

"A schizophrenic soldier took an enemy battalion prisoner. It was easy, he had them surrounded."

"It wasn't much fun having a broken neck, but now I can look back and laugh."

"What do you call a group of sorority girls? A whorde."

"Being asked if you've read 50 Shades of Grey is like being asked if you've had steak at Applebees. You do know there's actual steakhouses?"