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Joke of the Day

"*illegally downloads a social life*"

"[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport Whoops, wrong bus"

"In a way, I'm happy that Brexit happened. Now I don't need to correct people when they refer to the UK as England."

"I'm scared of the toilet That's where shit goes down"

"A 23 yr old girl just said I feel like I see people & I think they're my age then I find out they're OLD!! Like, THIRTY!! So I killed her."

"What do you call twin kittens? Dupli-cats"

"Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word ""crap""."

"I hate looking for a job almost as much I hate not having a job almost as much as I hate working. It's complicated."

"I'm sexually attracted to one of my students I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice"

"Please stop looking so hot, I'm trying to stop liking you."