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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Can I put this sweatshirt in the dryer?"" Wife: ""Well, what does it say on it?"" Me: ""Buffalo Sabres."" Wife: ""You're an idiot"""

"A Buddhist walks into a pizza shop He says can you make me one with everything?"

"A dwarf once walked into a brothel... with a honeycomb and a jackass; the madam says,.."

"[Dr.] ""Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die"" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* ""Don't do it"" *eats cheese* *dies*"

"I saw a gay bar with the entrance boarded up, but it was open... Everyone goes in the back door anyway"

"Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside."

"So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I'm on Facebook, I don't have money or a life."

"In his college years Jesus could turn oregano into weed"

"What do you call someone with no arms or legs? Jeffrey. Knock knock, Who's there? NOT JEFFREY"

"How much did the critic tip the waiter? Two cents"