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Joke of the Day
"Where did the pregnant T-Rex go for a check-up? The dinocologist"
Next Joke
"What does a sick bird need? Tweetment."
"Yo Mama's so fat that when she sits on the beach whales swim up to her and sing ""We are family...!"""
"[hospital] ""The results are in. I'm afraid you have Bad Priorities Disease. You have 1 month to live."" But does my hair look good?"
"My wife left me for an Indian guy I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows."
"""I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"" could also be titled ""I Wrongly Believed My Mother to Be a Cheating Whore"""
"I just got an iPhone 7S for my wife I thought that was a good trade"
"*notices wife has 5 asparagus on her plate while I only have 4* everything ok? ""fine"" [hour later during car ride home] you're speeding"
"Do you know how to avoid clickbait? Apparently not."
"If I owned a bar I would pour myself shots all the time, look in the mirror, wink and say ""It's on the house."""