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Joke of the Day

"A fun thing to do is go to the Facebook page of someone you've never met and ""like"" hundreds of photos of their baby."

"Why are ghosts always just moaning? Did your manners die too? Use your words!"

"His dick is like shopping for food at whole foods. It doesn't matter how much I get, or when I get it. I always feel fucked."

"Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings? Because he was always coming in a little behind."

"What do you call Mexican food when it gets cold? A burrrrrrito."

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship."

"Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead."

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere!"

"You guys need to leave pedophiles alone! They're just kidding around."

"What's black and white with red all over it? A nun with multiple stab wounds."