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Joke of the Day

"*Wakes up in Superman's body* Me: Holy crap! I'm finally a hero! *Uses heat vision to re-heat last night's pizza & puts on Netflix*"

"Two muffins are in the oven . . . One turns to the other and says ""It's hot in here"" the other looks at him and screams ""Fuck me! A talking muffin!"""

"Why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one?"

"I climaxed on a blind girl's boobs yesterday She didn't see it coming"

"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"

"Want your daily dose of vitamin C? Look at pictures of Donald Trump"

"I think somebody went on my Facebook without me knowing... Everything on it is French now."

"I use to know a classic rim shot joke, but...umm tiss"

"a couple of bros... ""I wanna know. Which one of you is Bro Montana, and which is Terrell Browens?"""

"Yep. Not sure what freaked out the mailman more - that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived."