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Joke of the Day

"I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money."

"What's the difference between donald trump and a bucket of shit? the bucket"

"*Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag"

"I didn't fart, I flirted. That was a flirt! *runs away flirting*"

"What kind of secretary is the best secretary? One that never misses a period."

"I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face."

"Don't judge a woman by her granny panties but by what's inside."

"What were the French children doing in the pool? Piscine."

"Carrot Top's hair should be green. Either that, or I don't understand the anatomy of a carrot as fully as I think I do."

"I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are."