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Joke of the Day

"*pops the hood* ""Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt"" .. Umm r u sure you work here? *lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*"

"What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished? Decomposing"

"I've been thinking about getting a tattoo and I've finally decided on this one. I don't know what it means, but it looks really cool! "

"A quick question... How do I disable the autocorrect function on my girlfriend?"

"How does Donald Trump get the dishwasher going? He pushes Melania out of bed."

"Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now."

"He died doing what he loved: almost crossing the street."

"I just heard an old man tell this joke on live radio... - Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Little Boy Blew - Little Boy Blue, who? - Jared, from Subway, that's who"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? *long pause* ding-dong ditch."

"When is a woman too fat to fuck? When you pull her panties to her knees and there's still pussy in them."