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Joke of the Day

"What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman? ""Do you sell flip-flips?"""

"My inappropriate uncle told me this one when I was 11: Where do cousins come from? ant holes"

"What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's father have in common? They pulled out too late."

"I try not to beat live horses, either"

"Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair."

"You're not impressing anyone, people who put a comma before the person's name when wishing them a happy birthday on Facebook"

"I wanted to rope down this mountain... but I found it quite rappelent."

"Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb? It's blowing up"

"How many Hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...it's this really obscure number. You've probably never even heard of it. No big deal."