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Joke of the Day

"WHAT DO WE WANT? The ability to ask different questions WHAT DO WE WANT? See this is what we were talking about"

"What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon? Tennish."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin."

"A man driving a car hits a woman. Who's fault is it? TRICK QUESTION! Cars can't fit in the kitchen!"

"If you have a parrot and you don't teach him to say ""Help, they turned me into a parrot"" you wasting everybody's time Shamelessly stolen from /r/funny"

"You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !"

"I was sitting in traffic the other day got run over."

"Everyone: Why don't you have kids? *points to dead cactus*"

"You know the best thing about having a penis? You get to share it with people who don't."

"My wife said if this comment is gilded we'll do anal... I sure hope it isn't, my ass'll be grass when she's done with it..."