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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a religious dairy farmer? Cheesus Christ"

"What do you call a cow that's made out of glass? Steer Clear."

"I woke up to find.. the train I was on had turned into a Pencil. I didn't try to use the toilet though because your not meant to go whilst the train's stationary."

"Being a parent means enthusiastically clapping for a lot of mediocre stuff. It's like being a Coldplay fan."

"How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson? it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in."

"My girlfriend. ..probably tells me a lot that I don't listen to her."

"What's a pirate's favourite game? An arrr-pg"

"I went to the store today and seen this sausage begging her mom for an overly expensive purse. She then began to cry when her mother said no.. What a brat"

"Why didn't the boxer cross the road? He didn't want to be part of a bad punch line."

"How'd the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."