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Joke of the Day
"Where do Dalmatians get their music from? Spotify."
Next Joke
"I've been asked to take care of the neighbour's cat. They aren't on holiday - they're just really lazy."
"Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?"
"What do you call a cinema in Jamiaca? A cinemon"
"My favorite knock knock joke Knock Knock Who's there I eat mop I eat mop who. Say it out loud."
"SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WEATHER REPORTERS RISKING LIFE & LIMB SO WE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A 130MPH HURRICANE LOOKS LIKE IN THE DARK!"
"Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*"
"American light beers are like having sex on a canoe... Its fucking close to water"
"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action and opened another register"
"I'm really good in bed.....I stay on my side and rarely steal all the covers."