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Joke of the Day
"Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window? SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!"
Next Joke
"What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam."
"DON'T TELL ME THAT PLANTS MAKING THEIR OWN FOOD ISNT AMAZING. THATS LIKE YOU GOING TO TACO BELL BUT THE TACOS WERE INSIDE YOU THE WHOLE TIME"
"Me: Wake up son! Son: Just 30 more minutes please Me: I'm borrowing your phone Son jumps of the bed: I'm awake!"
"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."
"WARNING: DO NOT TRY AND EAT WARREN BUFFET. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUFFET AND IS NOT MADE OF FOOD"
"Where do banana slaves go to work? Plantaintions."
"Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her."
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... And I said ""that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."""
"Professor X can move objects with his mind If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why can't he make his legs move??"