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Joke of the Day

"Definition of Bravery: Accepting oral sex from a cannibal."

"What did the man put on his car when the weather was cold? An extra muffler."

"Today my girlfriend yelled today saying: ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?"" What a weird way to start a conversation."

"What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his friend Gregory Peck."

"Doctor: Nurse how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

"What kind of ships can't go in salt water? Snail-boats"

"Finish this joke, ""I am Christian and I believe in science. In fact, I studied Physics at a Catholic University."" So far I have, ""Physics at a Catholic University? That's like studying... at a ..."""

"Vampire 1: ""I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died."" Vampire 2: ""How awful!"" Vampire 1: ""Yes. Fortunately I found some in the neck of time."""