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Joke of the Day

"""I think you should hire a contractor. . .some of this looks load bearing."" - me, when asked to ""raise the roof"" at parties. . ."

Next Joke
 
"Jared from subway You know, if Jared from Subway goes to prison, he is still going to have an unlimited amount of foot longs."
"Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally? He was trying to hold the door"
"I went to a paraplegic fundraiser It was crawling with pussy"
"What kind of a friar loves philosophy? A deep friar."
"Why did Serj Tankian cross the road? because he wanted to..."
"""AUGHHGGUAUGGHGHGHGHGGGGH!!!!!!!!"" - killer wail"
"What's the difference between a Russian ambassador and a chicken? The Russian ambassador is Turkey"
"So is tomorrow the day Trump & all his supporters say ""April Fools!"" & we get our country back?"
"I had my credit card stolen. About two years ago now. I never reported it though. On my first statement, I found that the thieves were charging less than my wife was."