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Joke of the Day

"I'm going bananas... That's what I tell the bananas when I'm leaving."

"What do you call someone who like massages but hates women? A massagynist"

"It's that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year."

"[shopping for make-up] ""Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?"" ""I know exactly what you need."" [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]"

"I like my women how I like my socks Full of my jizz and forgotten about somewhere"

"If you put a picture of yourself in a locket... Could some say you are, independent? :D (Don't look at me like that. You smirked, at least. haha!)"

"I heard Chris Brown was starting a new radio station... It will be nothing but hit after hit."

"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard"

"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar The Bartender says: ""what would you like Senator Cruz?"""