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Joke of the Day
"Hey everyone in a play pretending to drive a car - stop steering so much."
Next Joke
"I started a band called 999 Megabytes ... we haven't gotten a gig yet"
"""I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!"" - every furniture store owner"
"Are you the square root of -100? Cause you're the only 10i see."
"I just slapped my phone out of my mom's hand like it was a live grenade because she started scrolling thru my photos."
"*standing behind home plate* -Beware of my dog-like reflexes. -Shouldn't it be cat-like reflexes? *catches baseball with my face*"
"How do you censor real life hentai? Pubes"
"What do you call a sketchy place in Italy? The ""spaghetto"""
"What kind of pizza do pilots like? Plain."
"She said, ""I want twelve inches and I want it to hurt!"" So I screwed her twice and hit her in the head with a brick"