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Joke of the Day

"judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence"

"Fred: Do you think I'm a fool? Harry: No. But what's my opinion against thousands of others?"

"ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit."

"Can't wait to throw buckets of melted snicker bars at the walls of the bathrooms at work today & blame Bob's diarrhea again."

"Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance"

"What's the difference between a redneck, and a SJW? A redneck's trigger actually does something"

"What did the tree say while it was being transplanted? Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!"

"How to you make a Hormone? You kick her in the groin."

"Q: When is a school paper not a school paper? A: When it's turned into the teacher."

"Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy!!"