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Joke of the Day

"3.14% of sailors are... -rates."

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"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions? I do."
"How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up."
"What do you call a bunch of killer whales playing musical instruments? An orca-stra."
"I park in the farthest spot possible at the gym for the added benefit of eating my croissan'wich without being judged by people walking by."
"I don't think any of us would have made it to a life boat on Titanic."
"whats the difference between Court and Supreme Court? Supreme Court comes with sour cream and guac."
"Advent Calendars Their days are numbered."
"[6:00pm] i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight [11:00pm] yay i did it! [11:01pm] *preheats oven*"
"What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese."