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Joke of the Day

"The preacher tells me today... "" I hardly see you in church. You need to join the army of the Lord"". I said... ""I am. I'm in the secret service"""

"Maybe she's born with it... maybe it was a sex change."

"What do you get when you put a knife in a babys ass? A hard on"

"A roman walks into a bar... A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martini, the bartender gives him two and the Roman walks away happy."

"What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal? A Robin Williams."

"What is Michele Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli"

"Whenever I try to steal from people I get stabbed by an old plastic fork or a stick. The homeless are resourceful, man."

"Have you worked at McDonalds? I have. I got fired not long ago. My boss was a clown."

"How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? Tired."

"How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn? They kick a Can"