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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"My doctor said I have high cholesterol Because my dick is too fat"

"A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get ""your foot off the table"" when he's eating."

"Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I'll probably live forever."

"It takes two to lie... One to lie and one to listen..."

"In the future when cats rule the world, the currency will be Cuteness and i will be a poor and lonely man"

"So I drew a perfect circle today. You could say I finally got around to it."

"I woke my SO up with a bj. She didn't seem to appreciate it."

"Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously."

"One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves."