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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation? Because he's an Xboxer."

"What do radical feminists and Game of Thrones have in common? All men must die."

"Neuroscientists have discovered a commonly-consumed food which nearly eliminates the female sex drive. Wedding cake."

"I will never vaccinate my child. I'd rather a doctor or nurse do it."

"if running over deer had taught me anything... It's that if somethings horny, plow it on the hood of your car"

"Did you hear that the guys from ""The Expendables"" are doing a movie about classical composers? Arnold Schwarzenegger has already signed up, and said ""I'll be Bach."""

"Gf: What's the dog eating? Me: Piece of hotdog. Dog: [chewing slows] WHAT."

"What did one shark say to the other? These Malaysia Airline meals aren't bad."

"Thanks to home security commercials, I am now terrified of middle aged white men."

"M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God. H: This is our house. M: I SWEAR TO GOD!"