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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you the gulf of mexico? Cuz I would drill that and make a mess"

"Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate."

"Whats the difference between acne and a Priest? Acne doesn't cum on a boys face until he is 13."

"Say ""Oh my God"" 5x fast, then say ""I got 'em"" 5x fast.. Have you found Jesus? Lol, jk.. But they sound pretty similar, don't they?"

"You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!"

"There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious."

"Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website."

"'I have a baby-sized dick' he said. He wasn't lying. 19 inches, 7.5 lbs."

"What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark!"

"I believe every child should be given a chance... ...and that's why if they can guess the number I'm thinking of, I'll let them go..."