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Joke of the Day
"Reason for ER visit: Injured in a masturbatory frenzy Again."
Next Joke
"What do you cal a wine hangover? The grape depression."
"(getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang"
"This fall on Fox: X-Files Babies. Baby Skully and Baby Mulder meet at a petting zoo when they both get knocked over by the same goat."
"My friend gave me one last gift before he died. It was his EpiPen."
"If by ""social butterfly"" you mean I will take off when you come near me, then yep."
"Pro Tip: On 20th wedding anniversary, giving wife a book called ""The Many Benefits of Kegels"". Is not a great idea. I know this now."
"Woman: ""Can you please call me a taxi?"" Man: ""You're a taxi"""
"I like my coffee like I like my women..... Ground up and stuck in the freezer."
"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."