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Joke of the Day

"According to my neighbor's diary, I have ""boundary issues""."

"Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird ""You can secretly watch Netflix at work"" Oh, please take literally all of my money."

"Being a teacher is great, I only work a half day 12 hours/day. Thank you, don't forget to tip your TA, I'll be here all week (M-F except Federal Holiday) folks!"

"Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about."

"what would happen if all the rattatas died? They would be eraticated"

"Mom: Take out the trash *I take the trash on a lovely date* Mom: Not what I meant *I assassinate the trash in an ally* Mom: Still wrong"

"What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !"

"I accidentally swallowed some Liquid Paper last night ...Today, I woke up with a massive correction."

"The Russian Army Q: Ho you Hld you -47 when running aay fro nuclea blast? A: On far stretched out hands coad, so the hot , fro the gun does not dip on s oned shoes!"

"You might have heard about the Chevy Camaro IROC, but do you know what IROC stands for? Italian retard out cruising."