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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!"

"Like a midget at a urinal.... I'm going to have to stay on my toes. Credit: Naked Gun"

"Donald Trump and his followers are buying Macs So they don't have to be PC anymore. *Ba dum tsst"

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg."

"What do you call a letter that was sent to a man by a feminist? Hate male."

"Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with."

"Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?"

"When I hear my boss coming over to my desk, I mask my body's heat signature with mud and sit still hoping she won't see me."

"Me - That's the second First Baptist Church I've seen today. Wife - OK? M - One of them is lying. W - You can't ever shut it off can you?"

"Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."