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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally."

"Standing on a corner waving an advertisement sign is a sweet job, but probably unnerving knowing you could be replaced anytime with a stick."

"Bieberohhellnophobia: fear of accidentally listening to Justin Bieber song & not having the ability to rip own ears off #omgfacts"

"What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel"

"3 Trojans once tried that horse trick on a Greek city... Poor guys drowned in semen without ever being discovered."

"What's it called when Batman leaves the church early? Christian Bale"

"I've been feeling down all evening... I think my duvet has split."

"Who knew 20yrs after Debate class I'd apply those skills to present arguments to 7yo on why pasta shapes don't change the taste of pasta."

"I'm not saying I'm smarter than you because I use proper punctuation; I'm implying it with semicolons."

"Why is the men's room always located to the left? Because women are always right."