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Joke of the Day

"How does a Metal Wizard perform his spells? He ChromeCasts. anDruid humor."

"To find your real porn name, take the translation of your Chinese letter tramp stamp & add to the name of your mom's 4th alcoholic husband"

"I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it."

"Saw a kid crying in the grocery store. I opened a bottle of A1 and chugged it right in front of him. He stopped crying and started nodding."

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."

"When I almost snapped after I heard the same joke over and over, I've found out what rhymes with orange ! Deez nuts ! Ha, got him !"

"Press 'B' really fast after asking a girl out on a date to increase your chances of catching her"

"I'd eat more chicken if it was branded as ""Tuna of the Land."""

"You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows."

"Pornstar Lisa Ann has retired... I wonder if she read her contract and realised she was getting screwed..."