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Joke of the Day

"Random girl: OMG I love your UGG boots Me: No No... that's just the way my feet look"

"To the guy that invented the number ""zero""... thanks for nothing."

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."

"Tomato/tomahato, potato/potahto, pedestrian/victim. Who cares."

"In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months."

"During the opening Olympic ceremony I thought the Chinese uniforms looked pretty good!....And the ones worn by the Chinese team weren't too bad either!!!"

"I work for a company who specialises in vacuum packed marine mammals. We're famous for our airtight seal."

"What do you call a letter written by a feminist? Hate male"

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says: ""I think we got off on the wrong foot."""