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Joke of the Day

"Random girl: OMG I love your UGG boots Me: No No... that's just the way my feet look"

"Golfers always bring two pairs of pants to the Masters. Just in case they get a hole in one."

"What do you call the entrance to a brothel? Hodor"

"What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!"

"Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can"

"What did Hitler say when 7 ate 9? NEINNN!!"

"If Gillette made toilet paper, we'd be up to 4 or 5 plys by now."

"Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?"

"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."