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Joke of the Day

"There are now two ways to pronounce ""Reddit"". Read-it and Re-edit. ^^^^^shit ^^^^^joke"

"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."

"I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies. Should've added the [Sirius] tag."

"You know what I like about high school girls? I will be back, rec time is over."

"Girl: Mom mom a monster's just bitten my foot off. Mom: Well keep out of the kitchen I've just washed the floor."

"My girlfriend is the undisputed queen of not giving a fuck But it's all good. Her sister is plenty wild for the both of them"

"I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public."

"When the aliens land I refuse to be the one who explains why mannequins have no heads/arms/legs but do have noticeably erect nipples."

"My wife was complaining about how the washing machine was making a lot of noise lately. I told her to put a sock in it."

"A man walks into r/news <removed>"