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Joke of the Day

"Rappers be like ""I'm killing them snitches, smackin dem bitches, smokin blunts n fucking hoes!""**Wins award** Rapper: ""I just wanna thank God"""

"When you first learn about the Banach-Tarski Paradox it sounds cool... ...but, when you break it down, you'll realize you've actually seen it twice."

"We have bike lanes and carpool lanes. I demand a waterslide lane on every major road."

"Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today."

"TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub"

"never heard this before Knock knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who ? DISH IS SEAN CONNERY"

"My dad found an Altoid tin in his attic and told me it was worth over $400. He said it was worth so much because it was in mint condition."

"The ""bishop"" came to our church today... He was a fucking impostor. Never once moved diagonally."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave till it's Bill Withers."

"adulthood is just eating a taco where the toppings keep falling out and then death"