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Joke of the Day

"What do diapers and Politicians have in common? They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason."

"Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do... I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. I heard this at work and thought it was clever. Enjoy"

"To: ALL STAFF Subject: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: How to Effectively Use the E-Mail Subject Line"

"Why do java developers always wear eyeglasses? Because they dont C#"

"Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail? She couldn't stand making Kermitments"

"are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deep breath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen"

"Why don't people in their 80's have sex anymore? You ever try to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw? You don't call her."

"Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?"