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Joke of the Day

"A chemist discovered a revolutionary new compound of technetium, sulfur, helium, and bismuth. It got him tons of BiTcHeS."

"It must have been something to watch MC Escher's kids run down the stairs on Christmas morning for all eternity."

"My wife said: ""Can my mother come down for the weekend?"" So I said: ""Why?"" And she said: ""Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already."""

"Wow, you're a Sagittarius?? That must mean you're trusting, passionate and thick as pig shit to think I care about horoscopes"

"What's the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? The election year."

"Are you made from Na, selenium and xenon? Because you are sodium SeXe. Edit: I have yet to zinc of another chemistry joke."

"What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead."

"No bullshit, if any color is unemployed, its maroon"

"According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it's hard to steal a car when the owner's living in it..."