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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later."

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"Why did the pope have so many children? Because his condom was a little holy..."
"I like my coffee how I like my women. STD free."
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say before he went down the mine? I'll be black."
"AMA Request: Someone who has successfully committed suicide."
"In German, the imperative is formed by opening your mouth and speaking German."
"People are always telling me I look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I've never seen the movies, but she must be a beautiful gal."
"Best part about my homeless girlfriend.... she lets me play with her sweet cans"
"Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, ""Wait a minute. I have that."""
"What happens when a guy addicted to banging fat chicks doesn't get laid. Width-drawals."