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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a drum, a woman, and a blowjob? You can beat a drum. And you can beat a woman. But you can't beat a blowjob."

"This man says to his friend"" I stopped driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold the wheel."""

"Monster: Doctor doctor I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist."

"A doctor was listening to a teenage girl's heart ""All right,"" he said, ""take big breaths."" ""What?"" she said. ""Big breaths!"" ""Yeth!"" she said. ""And I'm only thixteen!"""

"A newly wedded desperate soldier .. A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave. :P"

"Me: Could a drunk person do this!? *assembles Ikea bookcase* Her: that's supposed to be a couch."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One stops and asks the other, ""Does this taste funny?"""

"Teacher: Now class whatever I ask I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4? Class: At once!"

"Failed my wasp collection exam. Got a bee."

"The price of Trumps' wall became much cheaper after the election... ...50 million people shit a brick!"