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Joke of the Day
"My love for you is like a candle. If you forget about me, I will burn your fucking house down"
Next Joke
"Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. LIKE if you got 5."
"Just thought to myself: If cars were people than taxi cabs would be whores. Then a crowded city bus drove by and I felt sick."
"What is 007's fetish? Bondage..."
"I remember when I was gay It was a real pain in the ass."
"What is Micheal Bay's favorite phone? The Galaxy note 7"
"No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers."
"My girlfriend said ""I've got an itch between my toes"". So I asked ""Which toes?"". She answers ""My big toes""."
"What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years? Whitney Houston's crack pipe."
"Hey, ladies, if you look like a snake swallowed a rib cage you're too skinny."