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Joke of the Day

"A woman asked her husband for a divorce after he said they needed to go get new counter tops. She knew he was taking her for granite."

"What do you call a senior lady on her period A Ragtime Gal"

"""Why does everyone hate me?"" I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on."

"Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant."

"Which burger is famous for a long nose? Cyrano de Burgerac!"

"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this shit."

"What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack"

"This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep."

"I seared steaks in our home without adequate ventilation. Now there's a delightful and very visible meat cloud hanging over us."