142008

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night"

"Me: lets go on a date Her: umm Me: what could go wrong *25 minutes later we are being chased by a pack of raccoons*"

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"I just got my medication for my depression. I'll kill myself if I don't take it."

"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"

"Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was ""he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"""

"Good thing it's Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!"

"Well at least Trump and I have one thing in common.. ..we both think his daughter is hot."

"Dear every hip hop artist: No, I don't know what you're saying. Maybe if you ask me another 36 times before the song is over."

"Why 4D was invented ? Because yo mammas ass so fat it couldn't fit in 3D."