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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He still had his dick in the chicken"

"If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving probably isn't for you!"

"how many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? it's a pretty obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."

"How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender."

"If you're Russian when you're running to the bathroom, and Finnish when you're leaving, what are you in between? European!"

"Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane? Aren't they themselves a carry-on?"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything"

"Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer."

"Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days."

"THEM: Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. ME: As planned."