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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe Prince Andrew paid for an underage sex slave. That bastard's never paid for anything in his life."

"No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall."

"My history teacher found a tampon He's still trying to figure out what period it's from."

"Give a man a fish... And he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... And he'll wanna use your yacht!"

"Funny One Liner! If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends."

"How do you know when Santa's in the room? You can sense his presents."

"Sam Allardyce is a disgrace and needs to be punished, humiliated and made an example of... Therefore he should continue as England Manager"

"People who continually put the toilet paper roll in backwards are evolutionary dead-ends, like the Neanderthal."

"Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS"

"These Jared from Subway jokes are so tired Bill Cosby started using them to knock out his victims"